


Hogwatch Station

by yuletide_archivist



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-22
Updated: 2004-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-25 04:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1631267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuletide_archivist/pseuds/yuletide_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vignette</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hogwatch Station

**Author's Note:**

> Written for brighty

 

 

Sergeant Colon mounted the podium with the air of a  
man who was going to do the job right, no matter what  
the heckling or the interruption. The room full of  
watchmen sitting on benches or leaning against the  
walls kept on talking.

"All right!" yelled Colon. "Look alive and listen  
up!"

"Sergeant, I pro..." began Constable Shoe, standing up  
from his bench in the front.

"Sit down, shut up, and remember, I said "Look" alive.  
I know that your and Dorfl and some of the rest might  
not technically be alive, and if you give me any more  
backtalk I'll have you patrolling the privies."

"Yes, Sergeant." Replied Reg, sitting down. The  
privies bothered him but not for the normal reasons;  
he didn't mind the smell, or the closeness or the  
darkness, but they reminded both that he wasn't alive  
anymore and also that there were places where people  
wouldn't listen to reason.

"Right then. You lot in back, straighten up or I'll  
send you back to basic and let Detrius give you his  
special treatment." The room quieted down nicely, and  
Colon let a smile grow as he looked around.

"Well, well, well. What we are doing today is the  
first of

Sitting in the back of the station, Visit turned to  
ask Captain Carrot as he went by "Sir, Captain  
Carrot?" Carrot smiled at him and said "Yes,  
Constable Visit?"   
"Sir, are we going to have any more of those meetings.

Sergeant Colon mounted the podium with the air of a man who was going to do the job right, no matter what the heckling or the interruption. The room full of watchmen sitting on benches or leaning against the walls kept on talking.

"All right!" yelled Colon. "Look alive and listen up!"

"Sergeant, I pro..." began Constable Shoe, standing up from his bench in the front.

"Sit down, shut up, and remember, I said "Look" alive. I know that your and Dorfl and some of the rest might not technically be alive, and if you give me any more backtalk I'll have you patrolling the privies."

"Yes, Sergeant." Replied Reg, sitting down. The privies bothered him but not for the normal reasons; he didn't mind the smell, or the closeness or the darkness, but they reminded both that he wasn't alive anymore and also that there were places where people  
wouldn't listen to reason.

"Right then. You lot in back, straighten up or I'll send you back to basic and let Detrius give you his special treatment." The room quieted down nicely, and Colon let a smile grow as he looked around.

"Well, well, well. What we are doing today is the first of our daily meetings, to meet about ...the day. " Sergeant Colon was not a man who did well when faced with a podium, but Vimes had told him that if he could get the Treacle Mine station started, he could become a Sergeant At Arms. That was enough to make him change many ways. Leaving the traffic detail to Nobby, Fred Colon had rushed at the chance for an indoor job, close to home. All he had to do was make sure it started well. Not like the last time. Don't think about the last time.

Looking at his notes, he looked up and continued. "It's going to be the way things are here, since we're reopening this watchhouse. This is important to the Commander, and if we start right, we'll be right. So let's start. I've posted the duty assignments for this first week, and you've all complained enough about them, so do as you're told"

"But Sir!" said Acting Lance Constable Wellbone, a new recruit. "We'll be patrolling Hogwatch Eve".

"No, you're patrolling Hogwatch Eve. We are the Night Watch, after all. Some are patrolling the day. Now, I'm a fair man, and if you want to swap around on the schedule, it's allowable--AFTER the first three days, so that we can all learn the new beats."

"How, Sarg?" asked Wellbone.

"Sergeant, Welly, Sergeant. You work it out amonst yourself and tell me Wednesday afternoon. Now, since we are a new watch house, and need to get to it, all we'll be doing is patrolling. Easy as walking, and you've had the special training from the Commander in that."

Sitting in the back of the station, Visit turned to ask Captain Carrot as he went by "Sir, Captain Carrot?" Carrot smiled at him and said "Yes, Constable Visit?"   
"Sir, are we going to have any more of those meetings.?"

"Many more, Constable. We need to keep everyone informed."

At that point everyone turned to look at them. "What do you have to ask Captain Carrot that is so important that you can't ask me, Constable Visit?" Colon said, his face growing red.

"Sir!" squeaked Visit, realizing that he had irritated the man who could make him guard the tanneries for a month.

"Constable Visit was just asking if this new meeting would be standard, Sergent Colon." Carrot replied easily. He gave Colon his smile, continuing "I see you have all the watchmen--and women--informed. I have only one thing to add, if you're done?" Colon nodded.

Carrot strode forward to the podium, and put his hand on Fred's shoulder to keep him there as he turned to face the room. "This station is important to the Watch, and important to Commander Vimes, and important to me. Sergeant Colon will be doing things a little differently under my direction. You are the future of the Watch, and we are making you a better future. Trust the Sergeant, who knows the errors of the past, to lead you there. "  
None of the watchmen dared look anything but straightfaced at this pronouncement. Listening to speeches by Sergeant Detrius taught you not to look wrong.

"One final thing. The city is watching you too. You have all the support we can give you, but remember--it's a dark time and a dangerous place sometimes, so let's be careful out there."

The mist rose from the cold damp streets, glimmering faintly in the torch and lamplight. It was more persistent than the sidlers and riders--no one was walking this late on HogWatch eve; it was not a night to be out.

The two watchmen proceeded down the street, in the slow easy gait that Commander Vimes insisted they know. They gave the impression of walking as far apart from each other as they could for two watchmen forced to be side by side. Only the drip of condensing water was heard; on this night the Shades was closed. It was too dark even for those who had dark dealings in the dark; everyone was at home with their caps on, or huddled around the fire that added the smoke to the mist, turning into a dense fog that shone yellow in the light. Or, if not, they were lurking in the fog.

"It's still not right." Constable Visit said. "I should be able to choose who I patrol with"  
"Freedom to choose, yes, that is a basic freedom" replied Constable Shoe, tiredly. "You gave it up when you joined the Watch, as did I."  
"It's not right".

"We're to patrol the Shades Beat. We're to do it together. Originally, we were not together. Then you changed so that Welly could be with his mother, and I changed so Miller could be home. But we're experienced, and this is easy. "

"But you're an abomination!"

"I am not an abomination, Visit, I am a watchman senior to you." Shoe replied. "And I'm not happy about your attitude."

"You're an abomnination"!

"I'm a citizen of Anhk Morpork, and a Senior Watchmen, and will not listen to you any more" Shoe finished.

The two watchmen proceeded down the street, peering through the fog. Now they were on opposite sides of the street.

"One AM and all is well" shouted Visit, resentfully.

"Quiet!" hissed Shoe, crossing over to him. "Something's not right!"

"What, that you're dead?" said Visit , staring at him.

"No, that the lights on the next street are all out. And that we can't hear anything!"

Visit turned and looked, his eyes widening. "How can you tell?"

"I look, and I remember from our walk, Vis. Follow me, we'll find out what's up."

Following orders, Visit fell in step behind Shoe.

The street was empty. Every street was empty, but this was the emptiness of people hiding under their beds, not just under the covers. Reg reached up and checked one of the torches with his fingers, which sizzled. "Still hot, just put out. Something's wrong here. Let's check houses."

The first three they went to, typical street houses for this poor neighborhood, with a door up three steps flanked by two narrow windows, were boarded and locked tight. The fourth, a tenement with a double door and larger windows, had once obviously been a rich man's house and was now 10 poor family's housing. The door was open.

Reg motioned for Visit to stand to one side of the door, extinguished his lantern, and stood on the stoop, peering in. A moment later, three men encumbered with sacks came out in a line, wearing cloaks and hoods.

"Hogswatch is a time of giving, not taking, gentlemen. Licenses, please?" said Constable Shoe in approved watch fashion.

"Right here, gov, and if you could be quick, we need to get home to the families."

"It doesn't seem right, gentlemen" Reg said, taking the proferred piece of paper. It seemed in order. As he bent his head closer, the third one out snickered, the sound of someone who knows he is right.

"It's an abomination" said Visit. The third thief turned in surprise, and exclaimed "Cripes! Two of you! What, scared of the dark?"

"I bring light to the darkness" replied Visit, and opened his lantern on the thief's face, showing a craggy countenance. "License, please."

"I don't have to show you a license, we showed the other one." Replied the thief, shifting his sack to the other side, and pulling his hood down.

"Officially, not only do each of you have to show me your licenses, I will also want to see the log of housebreaking you've done."

"It's not right" replied the third thief. "We're just trying to get our jobs done and get home before the Hogfather comes."

"So were these people whom you have robbed unjustly" replied Visit. "Is it not written that the starlight shall shine on the righteous when the fog of night is thickest?"

"What?"

The second thief had moved around next to Shoe, and suddenly swung the bag into him, knocking him down. He kicked the downed man twice, once in the stomach and once lower down, then stepped towards Visit, dropping the bag.

"That's enough" he was saying, as Visit stepped to put his back against the house. The other two thieves dropped their bags, and moved towards them.

Behind them, Reg rose from the ground silently. His eyes glowed red in the light of Visit's shaking lantern. Grabbing two of the thieves from behind, he picked them up and knocked their heads together, producing a hollow thunk and immediate unconsciousness in the two thieves. The third thief turned at the sound, catlike, although his hair didn't stand up and he didn't yowl. A knife was pulled from his sleeve, and as Shoe stepped in he rammed it into the constable's torso, swinging low to avoid the breastplate. Shoe pushed him with open hands, slamming into the wall next to Visit.

"Violence against Watchmen, on Hogwatch eve?" said Constable Shoe. "That's worth a special present, a trip to the cells until you can be judged. The three thieves, unconscious, didn't move.

A little voice came from the doorway. "What's happening?" she said, a waif of indeterminate but young age.

"Nothing you need to worry about" said Constable Shoe. "Now, go wake your parents. The Hogfather dropped his gifts here accidentally, and we need your help to get everyone what they should have."

Visit stared in amazement as the householders came down, and quietly took their presents back, thanking him. One lady even hugged him. Shoe smiled and shook hands, and reassured them. The families were from everywhere--a Sto Lat cabbage farmer, in the city working as a brewer, a Llamedosian, even an Omnian brood.

After everyone had gone back inside, the older children and parents even more amazed than the younger, Visit turned to Shoe and asked him "Why did you do that? Hogfather isn't a religious figure, he's just a myth!"

Shoe turned to the younger constable and replied. "You're not really acclimated to the City yet, are you, Shoe?"

"What has that got to do with it?"

"Hogfather is a god of Anhk-Morpork, and you need to know that. Yes, he's not worshipped in any one temple, but the little children pray to him. And here, where we're all from somewhere else at some time, it's good to have traditions that everyone can believe in. And we've added to the tradition, thanks to these fine fellows."

"What, you complement them?"

"Yes. They were entirely in within the law, if not the right. But you irritated them and they attacked me, so they're due for the lockup for a bit, and the presents go back. I think you and I should have a tradition of doing good things on this night, for our home. Now, if you'll help me pile them up, I'll carry them back to the station."

The two constables walked the Shades beat, side by side in the darkest hour on the longest night, close to each other. One helped the other balance a load of thieves on his shoulder.

 


End file.
